June 1, 2009
Thank you for the good advice for Saturday for when (my husband) got home from his side job. At first (my husband) was like, nice advice but we don't have to do it because Pastor says to (I guess he didn't want it scheduled or planned for him). He said just the steak dinner would be good. But I did it and it went very nice. He even thanked me the next night and said you had good advice and we agreed to do it more often.
I can't thank you enough for all you've done for us. You really are an expert in tackling issues head on and pulling back when needing to. We tried regular counseling years ago and he was just doing it to appease me because he was caught and it didn't help us accomplish anything. I know I never would have gotten him to go to you if he hadn't heard you on the radio. That is such a good positive venue for you to get your word out. He really listens to you like he's never listenened to anyone before, even his father.
We even went to a Retrovaille Marraige seminar (Catholic marraige seminar) many years ago and he used some of the techniques for a few weeks (all while still keeping his extracurricular bar activities), then he was caught with yet another woman within 3 weeks. So I thought we had become close utilizing the techniques but he was just going through the motions. I haven't even told you about every affair/indiscretion/arrest/STDs he had or one night stands out til 5 or 6 in the morning every 3 months like clockwork, which I noted happened more in the spring time. He truly was a married man living a single life.
I'm seeing great positive changes in him and us. I almost feel like its not real because other times he has maybe stopped going out for a week or two then it was back to old habits. But this has lasted two months and I'm praying that it becomes his new habit. I am hopeful whereas before I would have just said "when will this effort end" and it usually did within a week, in fact in the past few years he didn't even bother at all. Part of me wonders is he at home more now because he's worried I may not be, but I'm trying to be positive and put that out of my mind, especially since its been two months. I now realize that we can have a great marraige if we both work at it.
Thanks for everything you do,
(Letter from Strong Marriage Client)